Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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