Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.