Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."