Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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