Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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