Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.