Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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