Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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