Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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