Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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