Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.