Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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