Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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