Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
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