Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like.
The end result was the creation of life.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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