Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.