Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris named his parents.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.