Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.