Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.