Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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