Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.