Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.