Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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