Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
Chuck Norris kissed a girl once. She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
How far can you spit. Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.