Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chuck Norris can stop the music.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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