Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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