Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank.
The iceberg was just a cover-up.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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