Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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