Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
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It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight.
The loser had to go live in the north pole.
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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