Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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