Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris.
Remember Atlantis?
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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