Chuck Norris can break air.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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