Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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