Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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