Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.