Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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