Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.