Joke #9848

Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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