Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.