The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard. When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris