Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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