Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep. Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.