There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck Norris can beat everyone. Except for 1 person. Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.