Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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