Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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I challenged Chuck Norris once.
He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space.
Now I read the facts from Mars.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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