Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways