Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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