Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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