Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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