Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.