Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.