Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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