Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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