Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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