When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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