When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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