When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.