When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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