Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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