Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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