Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.