Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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