The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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