The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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