The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
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