The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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