Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Chuck Norris made time wait.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!