Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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