Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.