Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.