Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own. 
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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