Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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