Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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