Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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