The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.