The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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