Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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