Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.