Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.