Love does not conquer all.
Chuck Norris does.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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