Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture.
And Won.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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