Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.