Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken.
It´s Chuck Norris´s leg.
He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
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