Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
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Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier.
In half.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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