The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.