Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.