Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters? 3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!