Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.