Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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