Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Chuck Norris can stop the music.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.