Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
Once an email was sent from LA to Washington. Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.