Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
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Chuck Norris was once shot.
The bullet died.
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