Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London.
Then they wrote a song about it.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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