Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough
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