Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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