Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.