Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything? Chuck Norris.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.