Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets.
He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
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