Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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