Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.