Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.