Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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