Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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