Joke #9924

What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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has 81.98 % from 584 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, little Johnny
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, gay, sex
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he ot it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. “OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “YES, YES, YES!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good!” said the first bat, “Because I fucking didn’t!”
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 13.02 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
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has 82.39 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, god