What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
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Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days.
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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