What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck." "Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee." His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off." "My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?" "Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye." "My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?" "No, that was the first day I had my hook."
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.