Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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