Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Sand is created by Chuck Norris shouting at rocks.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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