Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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