"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis.
He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car".
The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening.
He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room.
"OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
Vote:
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Vote:
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Yo mama so stupid, she went to a garage sale to buy a garage
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting