Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves? A: Rasin Brand.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’