The best kids jokes

What kind of rocks do young geologists play with? Marbles.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
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Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Vote: has 23.90 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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What is black and white and red all over? (A panda bear with a sunburn!)
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding. When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'. The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'. The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'. The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'. He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks the other kid with the flashlight. The kid says 'What was that for, sir?' The trooper says 'I was just fulfilling your wish. Y'all wouldn't have gotten 100 yards down this road before you'd have said to your friend, "I wish he'd have hit me with that flashlight", so I fulfilled your wish.'
Vote: has 22.04 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, kids
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
Vote: has 20.26 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, kids, old people, time
What color is a burp? It's burple!
Vote: has 18.70 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
Vote: has 15.64 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence. ‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor. ‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague. ‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
Vote: has 15.33 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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