The boss speaking with the secretary:
Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of time, you have the right to laze all day long?
My lawyer.
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.
Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin?
A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident?
The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool.
The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?"
God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."