A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck? It was not enough sand...
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.