The best lawyer jokes

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
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Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
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Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
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How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck? It was not enough sand...
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Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand? Football practice.
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