The best lawyer jokes

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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has 29.36 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done to my car!’ he whines. ‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick,’ replies the officer. ‘You’re so worried about your stupid car, you haven’t even noticed your left arm was ripped off!’ ‘Oh my God!’ replies the lawyer. ‘Where’s my Rolex?’
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid? Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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