The best lawyer jokes

How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore? A good start...
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A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
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Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
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What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.
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Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
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Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
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Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck? It was not enough sand...
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Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
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