Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident?
The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!
Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
Answer: His lips begin to move.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues:
-A lawyer is the freest creature in the world.
He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency.
To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office:
Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000.
With all these, you never made a donation to the charity...
If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds?
No... answers mayor.
In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind.
The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted:
And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans.
Stunned, the mayor says:
I didn’t know, please accept my apologies...
But the lawyer continues:
I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore?
A good start...