The best lawyer jokes

What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand? Football practice.
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Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
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How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore? A good start...
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A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
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What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.
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