What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand?
Football practice.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.
What do you call Satan and a lawyer?
Twins!
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance.
When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused.
The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it.
The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat.
He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.