The best lawyer jokes

Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.” “But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer. “Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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has 28.24 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest
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