The best lawyer jokes

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done to my car!’ he whines. ‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick,’ replies the officer. ‘You’re so worried about your stupid car, you haven’t even noticed your left arm was ripped off!’ ‘Oh my God!’ replies the lawyer. ‘Where’s my Rolex?’
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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has 27.63 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid? Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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