The best lawyer jokes

What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him through slowly!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? A mosquito drops off you when you die!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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