What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency.
To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office:
Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000.
With all these, you never made a donation to the charity...
If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds?
No... answers mayor.
In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind.
The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted:
And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans.
Stunned, the mayor says:
I didn’t know, please accept my apologies...
But the lawyer continues:
I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years.
A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?
Only one if you run him through slowly!
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.