A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving
Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.