The best jokes about life

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.74 % from 1431 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden." The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
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has 79.71 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, money, prison, wife
I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
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has 79.62 % from 741 votes. More jokes about: life
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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has 79.53 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, life, marriage, sex
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: life
Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
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has 79.50 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
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has 79.48 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, men
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
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has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: god, life, religious
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