The best marriage jokes

Make love, not war. Or if you want to do both – get married!
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Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible.
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A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
Vote: has 85.65 % from 362 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, women
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
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More jokes about: marriage, men, wife
My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
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Wife to husband: ‘My mother says I should never have married you. She says you’re effeminate.’ Husband: ‘Compared to her everyone is.’
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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, ‘Martha, pack up your things! I just won the Lottery!’ Martha shouts back, ‘Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?’ The man replies, ‘I don’t care, just as long as you’re out of the house by noon!’
Vote: has 85.62 % from 195 votes. Send joke:
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It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
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