# The best math jokes

Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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Teacher: "How much is half of 8?" Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?" Teacher: "What do you mean?" Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
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has 55.88 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win \$1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!" The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect." All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5." She answers and says "20". Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2." The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, football, math, money, stupid
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
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has 54.98 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: game, math, soccer, sport
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line? A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, stupid
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 54.58 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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