Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
What did one math book say to the other math book? "I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.