A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line? A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
Dear Maths, Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.