The best math jokes

A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: game, math, soccer, sport
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life, math
Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: math, nerd
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 55.13 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, science
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