Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!