Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.