The best math jokes

Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
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has 55.12 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: flirt, geek, math, sex
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 54.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: math
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, math, Yo mama
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, stupid
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, math
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!" The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect." All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5." She answers and says "20". Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2." The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, football, math, money, stupid
What is the shortest mathematicians joke? Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
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has 53.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: math
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
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