The best math jokes

Q: What did the constipated mathematician do? A: He worked it out with a pencil!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: math, work
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: math, nerd
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: death, math
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, math
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, science
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 54.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: math
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
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has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: flirt, geek, math, sex
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