The best math jokes

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: math, nerd
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, math
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, math, science
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 55.13 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: math
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