Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit.
The first statistician takes aim and overshoots.
The second aims and undershoots.
The third shouts out "We got him!"
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband.
It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.
Helium doesn't react.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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