The best math jokes

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, math, old people
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Vote: has 67.64 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vote: has 67.64 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
Vote: has 66.76 % from 142 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, math
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, school, teacher
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
Vote: has 66.34 % from 107 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, math
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Vote: has 65.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
Vote: has 65.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, math, Yo mama


<<<78910
More jokes →
Page 7 of 17.