Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.