The best math jokes

Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
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has 68.21 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: math, racist
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
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has 67.74 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: math
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
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has 67.09 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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has 66.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
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