Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!