The best math jokes

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
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One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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More jokes about: animal, food, math
...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
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More jokes about: math