On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Equation Men = eat + sleep + earn money Donkeys = eat + sleep Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money Therefore, Men - earn money = Donkeys In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math? A: Me neither.
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply