Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.