The best jokes about men

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the salesman asks her: "You're single, aren't you?" A bit surprised woman smiles and answers: "That's right, but how did you guessed that?" "Because you're so ugly."
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, couple, men
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, food, men
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, women
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
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